Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
