let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
