she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
