I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
