I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So much rum. So many feels.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
