Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
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