I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
