so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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