Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
