Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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