And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do vagina's smell?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
