apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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