I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
