Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry about my life...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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