i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize