Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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