awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
