This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
