there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
