I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
