My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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