He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
