Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
