I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
