Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
