Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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