Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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