Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
