i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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