Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize