Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hope mine doesn't look like that
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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