that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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