Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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