Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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