so that wasnt chicken after all
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
