She announced her abortion via fbk
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
