I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize