spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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