Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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