I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
