Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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