Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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