I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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