# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
