yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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