she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize