I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
