did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
