I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
