my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I party with great urgency now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
