dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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