He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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