Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
