Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
