I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
