Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
