she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
