You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
