Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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