I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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