No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
