The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
