Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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