Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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