Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to align my fucking chakras
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
