Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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