I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
