What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
