my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
