was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it because I queefed?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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