My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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