All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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