just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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